


Unsaid

by wartransmission



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wartransmission/pseuds/wartransmission
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto realizes that Haru has his own fears, even though Haru has always been the one to protect him from scary things since they were younger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the "I needed to see your face" prompt in the MakoHaru fest. It's a bit short, so I'm sorry for that. unu Also, thank you to the people who've been supporting me! I'll add the link to the entry post later, so please look out for that!
> 
> [Here's the link to the festival entry!](http://makoharufestival.tumblr.com/post/75060635627/challenge-i-needed-to-see-your-face) Please like and/or reblog if you liked the fic and you want to support me. Again, thank you very much for reading! <3

Makoto rarely ever had nightmares about that time anymore, now that he was older. The fear was still there, of course, somewhere in the dark recesses of his mind, only waiting for the right time to rear its head again. As pathetic as it was for someone his age, he still couldn't completely forget the moment that Haru was almost taken away from him by the ocean. His labored breathing, his clammy skin as Makoto held onto him, his face red with fever- it was all scary to remember, but he couldn't _forget_. As much as he wants to, as much as he wants to let go, he can't; because he couldn't let it happen another time. He'd remember, as much as it scared him, because he couldn't ever let it happen to Haru again.

 

Eventually, be it that it's a good thing or a bad thing, he figured out how to hide that deep-seated fear into a locked up part of his heart. It's something he's learned to be good at, because he couldn't let his fears show when he already had two siblings to take care of. He had to become stronger so he could protect them, so he could keep them safe from having fears like his own, because what good was a brother who couldn't keep his own siblings safe? As much as it hurt to hide it, he had to, even when Haru didn't like how he forced himself.

 

Then there came the time that he couldn't hide it anymore, because Rei unknowingly broke open the steel cage keeping his heart safe. He hadn't been prepared to see such a thing again, to have his fears come back and bite him, but it did and he couldn't do anything about it still. He was scared, no matter how much he tried to force himself not to be. He had told them everything, in the end, because what use would it be to hide when they already knew that something was wrong? They were his friends after all, and if he really loved them, he should be able to trust them with this, shouldn't he?

 

So he opened himself up. He laid himself out, all of his fears and worries, and they accepted him. For one rare moment, he had seen Haru openly express his protective nature just because he felt that Rei had gone too far with his questions. For that one moment, Makoto had let his fears go, because he remembered that he had these people with him to support him. He still has Haru even after all these years, because Haru's not going to stop protecting him just because he's bigger and taller now. As much as he doesn't show it, in that moment, Makoto remembers that Haru cares- perhaps a little more than Makoto thought he did.

 

It's why Makoto forgets that Haru has his fears too, which is why he's caught off-guard when his phone rings and Haru's name flashes on his screen. It's only been a couple of hours after they'd gone home from training on the islands, and he'd seen Haru just earlier, so he doesn't understand the need for calling Makoto at this time of the night. (In any case, it's a good thing that he has yet to fall asleep before Haru called, else he'd never have been able to answer it.)

 

He rolls over on his bed until he’s on his stomach, before pressing ‘accept call’. "Haru?" He asks once he puts the phone to his ear. He waits patiently for a response, thinking perhaps that the call might've been a mistake, but Haru doesn't say anything. All that Makoto can hear is the sound of Haru breathing, soft enough that he almost wouldn't have heard it had he not been straining to hear a reply from Haru's side. Again, he asks, "Haru, are you okay?"

 

Again, Haru doesn't reply. Makoto makes to ask once more, thinking that maybe Haru doesn't feel well enough to answer, but the sound of a beep and the subsequent silence cuts him off. Makoto lowers his phone, checking the screen to be sure, before frowning when he realizes that Haru did disconnect from the call.

 

 _Weird_ , he thinks to himself as he continues looking intently at his phone. Haru wouldn 't call if it weren't anything important, so, maybe...

 

He sighs, scratching the back of his head. He can't leave it like this, as much as he'd prefer to keep to his sleep schedule. Anything that could cause Haru to call him at all was far more important than sleep, anyway. He pockets his phone and tugs on a jacket to keep himself warm, before quietly sneaking out of the house and locking the door behind him with his own keys. It's not exactly something he's done before, sneaking out like this during midnight, but surely his parents would understand if he told them that it was because he was worried about Haru?

 

He yawns. rubbing at his eyes as he makes his way up the stairs to Haru's house. What could be wrong that Haru would resort to calling him? And at this time of night too. Was he ill? They _did_ spend most of their days training in the water during the past few days, so maybe that's it? _But_ , he thinks, _Haru wouldn't call me for something like that_. Makoto shook his head at the reminder. Haru wouldn't call him for something as small as that, considering how he knew how much more of a busybody Makoto would become once he found out Haru was ill. _It could be something worse,_ Makoto starts to think, feeling his heart drop to his stomach just as he finishes the thought. He hurries his way up to Haru's home, not bothering to even knock or ring the doorbell as he makes his way to the back. The light to the living room had been on, so he goes there first while warding away horrible thoughts of Haru possibly passed out from a high fever- because that's _impossible_. Makoto would have noticed if Haru was feeling ill on the way back.

 

"Haru?" He calls out softly as he enters the living room, trying not to make any noise despite his heavy steps. He tenses up when he sees a silhouetted form sitting on the wooden floor just outside Haru's door, though he relaxes once he realizes that it's just Haru. "Haru," he begins, keeping his voice low as he sits beside Haru, "why did you call?"

 

Haru doesn't answer, though he does look a bit too out of it to do so. Makoto sighs, feeling his exhaustion creeping up on him as he shifts a little closer. His gaze just so happens to wander down to Haru's hand, where Makoto sees Haru's blue phone right inside his clenched hand. Makoto squints through the darkness, feeling a little odd for doing so, though it would seem his curiosity has its foundations when he notices that Haru's hands are shaking.

 

Makoto freezes at that, green eyes blinking in confusion as he trails his gaze back up to Haru's face. The calm expression that Makoto thought him to have is now, inexplicably enough, replaced by the countenance of someone trying his hardest to hide his fears. Makoto would know that look anywhere, because he'd been the one to wear it first.

 

He didn't think he'd ever see Haru wearing it, though. He doesn't like it. He stifles the guilt threatening to overwhelm him when he remembers that Haru had to see him making a similar face for such a long time- though, in a way, he appreciates the terrible feeling he gets at seeing it. He can finally understand just why it is that Haru hated it whenever he put on an insincere smile.

 

"Haru," Makoto repeats, smiling softly when Haru turns to give him a forced annoyed look. "It's fine, Haru." He shifts closer until his leg presses up against Haru's own, before gently reaching out a hand to cover Haru's hand which is holding onto his phone. "I think I know how you feel now." And he does, just as much as Haru knows how it feels to almost lose his closest friend. Makoto hates how he was the one who made Haru feel so scared like this, though all he can offer now are his words and his presence. He'd stay with Haru for however long, even if it takes him until tomorrow morning, just so Haru will feel better. He owes Haru that, at least.

 

"Is that all you have to say?" Haru asks, only barely managing to hide his surprise at having Makoto hold onto his hand. Makoto tightens his grip then, tugging Haru's phone out of his grasp and setting it behind them, before slipping his hand back into the now open space of Haru's palm. Haru remains unruffled at the contact, instead (surprisingly) accepting it as he squeezes Makoto's hand in his. Slowly, gradually, Makoto feels Haru's hand cease in its shaking while in his grasp.

 

"I was wondering why Haru called me," Makoto says, leaving his true thoughts unsaid, though Haru seems to understand when he scoffs softly under his breath.

 

" _I'm sorry for making Haru worry."_

 

"I don't know," Haru admits, looking away from him to turn his gaze to the plants outside. "But seeing your face helped."

 

" _Just don't do it again."_

 

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you," Makoto says more than asks, his annoyance not as pronounced when he lets a little laugh escape his mouth. He doesn't say anything when Haru leans closer to him, though he does smile when he notices it.

 

"No," Haru answers point-blank, looking up at the sky, the back of his head now resting on Makoto's shoulder when he does so. "What you said was embarrassing."

 

"I know that now," Makoto whines, slipping his fingers into the gaps between Haru's own. "But seeing Haru's face did help me feel better."

 

 _"I needed to see your face,"_ Makoto hadn't said then, though Haru could probably tell his thoughts when he started smiling, his teeth showing just because he was amused with Makoto's answer. It's the same now, the sentiment still unsaid between the two of them, though it's Haru who wanted to see him this time. It makes him feel a little bit happier, knowing that Haru had wanted to see him, though he doesn't voice those thoughts aloud.

 

"Weird," Haru muses, peeking up at him with half-lidded blue eyes.

 

"I know," Makoto says with an affectionate yet still exasperated sigh. He doesn't bother to remind Haru of the fact that it was him who had wanted to see Makoto this time, because Makoto knows better than to irritate Haru at a time like this. For now, he'll accept Haru's hand in his as his as an apology. It's payment enough, seeing as Haru doesn't like physical contact much. "I wanted to see Haru this time too."

 

"In the middle of the night?" Haru asks, though he doesn't look like he's expecting an answer. He had been the one who called Makoto at such a late time, after all.

 

"I felt worried, for some reason," Makoto says, turning his head away to look up at the dark moonlit sky, although he takes a little glance at Haru just to see if he'll react to his words. "I'm glad Haru is okay,” he says.

 

"Nn," Haru hums in answer, his blue eyes still looking up at the night sky just as he gives Makoto's hand another squeeze. His previously tense countenance tainted with fear is gone, leaving nothing but calm and a gentle sort of happiness to settle into his bones. Makoto is here now, smiling as he always has, and he's fine. Haru had no need to worry, really, though it wasn’t wrong for him to become so after what they endured during the training camp. It wasn't like Makoto would ever deny him his hand when he felt that he needed it anyway, as rare as those moments were.

 

Makoto's just happy that he could be the one to comfort Haru this time; a payment unnecessary, considering how he doesn’t really see it as a debt. It’s just something that he has always wanted to give back, to do for Haru in any way he can, because he wants to be able to protect Haru in the same way that Haru has always protected him.

 

Now, even though Haru is strong enough on his own, Makoto can finally give Haru that feeling of safety that he’s always given Makoto. For once, Makoto can help Haru up instead of just hiding behind him.

 

He can protect Haru this time, using the hand that is clasped around Haru’s own.


End file.
